Idee, opinioni e valori sulla famiglia.

The literature dealing with the children of couples who separate has always privileged the study of young children, and the transition to adulthood seems to forget that children remain still, and their lived experience of separation is no less important than of a child. To cover this gap, as part of a national project MIUR on "Family instability: causal aspects and consequences of demographic, economic and social", a survey was conducted on all students attending classes or older V of higher educational institutions of the province Udine to explore how the older guys just have been able to re-shape their experience and are now able to reflect on some important aspects that have marked this event. This paper tries to answer some questions: how children react when parents separate? behave as parents with children in case of separation? when a child accepts the parents' separation? what opinions they have on the family, children and the values of life? If you ask to compare the opinions of the children of separated parents and not separated as a whole, there was a internal consistency on the two most common reactions: the children would agree not to separate sadness (55.4%) and feelings of abandonment (47, 8%) and just under a quarter would feel angry (23.2%), while the children of separated, despite the sadness of the circumstances, have the maturity and objectivity to recognize that the separation becomes the only solution to restore peace between the parents (40.9%). Many students have gained a greater sense of responsibility (28.7%), although there are other emotional reactions. Furthermore, by comparing the reactions of the boys exchanged with the distance between the parents' separation and detection, it is noted that emotions do not remember taking different weight depending on the distance from the event. A comparison between the reflections of young people with experience of parental separation, we note that, mostly, children seem to have been at the center of their thoughts (48.6%) and the concern to protect them (33.7%). 26.0% believed to have been involved in the separation between them and 42% felt "used" to support the positions of either spouse and 79% of these children did not feel "protected" parents from their relational event. In reality there are few parents who kept their children out of the problems of separation (15.6%). The separation helps children to react in different ways, but there is a time when we can say that a child accepts this separation, or is an event that has no solution? Nearly 50% of children of separated believes it depends on the age of child at the time of the event or the moment is his inner balance (45.0%), it is 15.6% is related to the time when parents find a new balance and to many it seems that it can never happen. To verify whether and to what extent the story lived in the family is able to influence the reference models concerning the family as an institution and value statements have been prepared some who were asked to express their agreement or disagreement. For 89,4% of children of separated "is better to have separated parents that unhappy" and 76.4% "is right that parents separate they rebuild a new family." The idea that "marriage in modern society is a separate institution" is shared by 46.7% of the children of separated and from 35.9% of the children of intact families. The family is still a value but not necessarily identify with the marriage and this opinion is confirmed indirectly by the idea that cohabitation is still a loving (thinks that 88,2% of all boys). It analyzes some factorial scales of the importance of achieving certain goals, highlights three factors, which alone explains 87% of the observed variability and are identifiable in a dimension of "effectiveness and stability," oriented to the satisfaction of material needs ( have a home, realize their dreams and find a stable job), in a "family", identified through the projects to raise a family and have children and a third dimension perfectly correlated with the final goal of career studies, or graduation. Finally, if you analyze those that are considered the most important values from young high school, the first place is for all the love (just over 70%) and friends, followed by the health and family for the children of for children of separated and unseparated family comes first and then health. At the bottom of the list we find the coherence, solidarity, religious values and, most recently, the study, highlighting a tendency for complex traits in the profile of values that animate the children of V above.